Eating: Are You in Intimacy or Addiction?
5 Simple Steps to Embracing Intimacy with Food This Holiday Season
As the holidays approach, we’re surrounded by family, traditions, and—of course—food. With every meal, every dessert, food is woven into our celebrations, bringing joy but also resurfacing old triggers. For many, holiday gatherings stir up emotions, and food can become a refuge, a way to fill something deeper inside. But have you ever wondered why you’re reaching for that extra helping? Are you feeding hunger or something more?
For years, food was my way of coping. Feeding was my trauma response—a way to mask pain. When my gymnastics career ended due to a severe injury, food shifted from comfort to addiction. I struggled with anorexia, bulimia, and cycles of binge eating. This battle was fueled by my underlying desire to control and soothe emotions I wasn’t ready to face. I tried to be “good” with food all week, only to binge on weekends, locked in a relentless cycle of control and rebellion.
If this resonates with you, know you’re not alone. Studies show that nearly 75% of women turn to emotional eating during times of stress. This isn’t failure; it’s a response to unmet emotional needs. But there’s another path—one where we engage with food in a way that nourishes the soul. Instead of turning to food to numb ourselves, what if we embraced it as part of our healing journey?
Understanding Intimacy vs. Addiction with Food
In the sacred feminine traditions we teach at LIATI Institute, the journey back to self-love begins with how we interact with food. The question is simple but powerful: Are you in intimacy or addiction with what you consume?
When we eat in intimacy, there’s a mindful, sensory exchange with each bite. This is where sensuality comes in. Food is a sensual experience, engaging all of our senses—sight, smell, taste, touch. Our senses are how we receive intimacy, creating a bridge to connection with our food.
Here’s how to connect sensually with food:
See – Notice the colors, shapes, and textures of your food. Take a moment to appreciate the visual beauty of your meal.
Smell – The limbic brain, our emotional center, is directly connected to smell. Each time you inhale the aroma of your food, it opens a memory and creates new memories around eating. Smelling your food invites connection and a sense of nourishment.
Taste – Engage in mindful chewing; chewing your food about 23 times is part of the macrobiotic diet and ensures maximum pleasure and nutrient absorption. This slower pace not only improves digestion but helps us savor flavors fully.
Feel – Pay attention to your body as you eat, noticing your hunger and fullness. When you eat slowly, it allows you to tune into satiety, honoring your body’s signals rather than overriding them.
When we allow ourselves to eat mindfully and intimately, our awareness opens up. We sense the soil that nurtured our food, the sunlight that it grew under, and even the care of those who harvested it. This is where food becomes an act of gratitude and connection, reminding us that we’re part of a larger web of life.
Recognizing Emotional Eating
On the other hand, emotional eating serves a different purpose—it creates a barrier between us and our emotions. Food becomes a way to numb, a quick fix for emotional pain. In these moments, we might find ourselves eating quickly, almost desperately, trying to fill an emptiness that food alone can’t satisfy. We may feel physically full, but not emotionally fulfilled—disconnected from ourselves and the present moment.
When triggered by holiday stress—or let’s be real, “family stress” 👀—our bodies can enter a semi-frozen state known as dorsal vagal shutdown. This is the nervous system's last-resort response, occurring when we feel overwhelmed or helpless. While spending time under one roof with family may not seem overtly stressful, a part of you—likely your inner child—may still be deeply triggered by unresolved patterns within the family dynamic (hint: we’ll dive into her story in another blog).
When these triggers pile up and we can’t escape due to family obligations, our nervous system hits the “pause” button. The result? Numbness, disconnection, and a cascade of physical responses that disrupt digestion, metabolism, and hunger cues. We may feel uncentered, drained, and even depressed without a clear reason why.
In this state, food often becomes a quick fix—a way to soothe the sluggishness and disconnection, offering a hit of dopamine in the chaos. After all, food is a biochemical party, one of the first comforts we experience in life. It’s no surprise it becomes a go-to bandaid for holiday dysfunction.
But what if there was a way to shift this pattern? What if, instead of using food to escape, you could use it to reconnect? This is where your Inner Aphrodite comes in.
Aphrodite, the goddess of love, beauty, and sensuality, invites us to approach food with presence and pleasure. She reminds us that nourishment isn’t just about filling the stomach—it’s about savoring the experience. If you find yourself stuck in emotional eating patterns, here’s a simple exercise to awaken your Inner Aphrodite and reconnect with your body.
Inner Aphrodite Exercise: Cultivate an intimate relationship with food
Pause Before Eating
Before you take your first bite, place your hands gently on your belly or heart. Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths, bringing your awareness back to your body. ASK: Am I physically hungry, or is there an emotional need behind this craving?*If you are actually hungry continue…
Engage Your Senses
Look at your food. Notice its colors, textures, and presentation. Bring the plate to your nose and inhale its aroma. How does it smell? Is it warm, spicy, sweet? Allow your senses to awaken and truly experience the moment. If you’re genuinely hungry, savor each bite with a full sensory experience. Notice the beauty on your plate. Sometimes at LIATI, we say to gaze upon your meal as if it is your lover. This means seeing beyond the physical and into the love that it took to grow, ship, and allow that meal to arrive here on your plate for you to enjoy.Slow Down
Take a small first bite and let it rest on your tongue. Notice the flavors, the textures, the way it feels in your mouth. Chew slowly and deliberately, giving your body time to fully process the experience. Engage in the pleasure of crushing, pulverizing, and liquifying your food. Feel the textures change on your tongue as your food becomes smaller and smaller. You may even notice the subtle layers of flavor released as you macerate each bite. Yum, yum!Tune Into Gratitude
As you eat, reflect on the origins of the food: the earth it came from, the people who cultivated it, the hands that prepared it. Let gratitude bloom in your heart for the nourishment it offers.Check In With Yourself
Throughout your meal, pause occasionally to ask yourself: Am I still hungry? What emotions am I feeling? What does my body need right now? Let your answers guide you.
This exercise isn’t just about mindful eating—it’s about bringing beauty and reverence to the act of nourishing yourself. By slowing down and engaging your senses, you create space to reconnect with your emotions instead of bypassing them. You step into the grace and presence of your Inner Aphrodite, reclaiming food as a source of joy and self-love rather than a tool for numbing pain.
What if you are not physically hungry and stalking the fridge anyway?
If you find yourself reaching for food without true hunger, use this practice to check in with your emotions and activate your inner Aphrodite. This five-step exercise invites self-compassion and gentle exploration of what’s really calling for your attention. Aphrodite, the goddess of sensuality, love, and mastery over emotion, helps us feel and address what might otherwise be hidden beneath the surface. Here’s how to honor her wisdom through a mindful self-check.
Aphrodite-Inspired 5-Step Check-In for Emotional Eating
Step Away and Create Space
If you’re not truly hungry, step away from the kitchen. Find a comfortable place to lay down where you can relax and connect with yourself.Wrap Yourself in an Embrace
Wrap your arms around yourself and take three slow, deep breaths. Imagine holding yourself with the warmth and compassion of Aphrodite, as if you were comforting a dear friend.Begin Crocodile Breathing
Lie on your stomach and engage in Crocodile Breathing (refer to our IG for a demo). Focusing on bringing your breath down to your pubic bone, With each inhale, allow your belly to rise, exhaling longer than your inhale (this activates the parasympathetic NS).Speak with Loving Presence
As you breathe, gently whisper to yourself, “It’s okay, [your name]. Everything is okay. I love you. What are you feeling right now?” Allow Aphrodite’s energy to help you hold space for whatever comes up.Listen to Your Inner Self
Stay in this position for a few moments, noticing any emotions or sensations that surface. Embrace whatever you feel without judgment, knowing that by doing so, you’re honoring Aphrodite’s gift of emotional intimacy and deep self-connection.
Psst: Emotional eating is often our inner child quietly calling out for attention, seeking comfort and validation in the only way it knows how. This gentle longing for nourishment goes deeper than physical hunger—it’s a craving for belonging and safety. Stay tuned for resources on how to nurture your inner child, or reach out for a session if you’re ready to explore this journey of integration and self-compassion.
On a More Personal Note:
For years, food was my comfort, my escape, my bandaid. When life felt overwhelming or emotions bubbled up too close to the surface, I’d turn to the fridge. Ice cream after a bad day. Chips late at night when the silence felt too loud. Warm bread that seemed to hug me from the inside out. Food was always there—reliable, soothing, and uncomplicated. Or so I thought.
I didn’t realize it at the time, but I wasn’t just eating to fill my stomach. I was eating to fill a void, a hollow space within me that food could never truly reach. It was as if every bite was an attempt to stuff down emotions I didn’t want to face. The cycle was comforting in the moment but left me feeling disconnected and even more empty afterward.
Then came what I can only describe as a universal time-out, a moment of utter stillness and reckoning. It was my rock bottom, what the alchemists call calcination—the burning away of illusions until all that’s left is the raw truth. Some might call it a conversion experience, but for me, it was a moment of total surrender. I realized I couldn’t keep using food to avoid myself. Something had to change.
In the aftermath of that realization, I was fortunate to find a group of wise women in a Wiccan circle. They were radiant, grounded, and deeply attuned to the sacred energy of life. These women became my guides, supporting me as I began the alchemical process of transforming my relationship with food, myself, and even my quantum energetics.
Food, after all, is energy.
Through my personal studies with the Sacred Feminine, consciousness, and myself, I learned that every meal is an exchange, a dance between the body and the universe. Food isn’t just calories; it’s a vibration, a force that connects us to the earth, the seasons, and ourselves. This understanding reframed my perspective completely. It wasn’t about restriction or indulgence anymore—it was about alignment.
The turning point came one evening during a ritual. I shared my struggle with the group, admitting how food had become a barrier between me and my emotions. One of the women placed a hand on mine and said, “Ask yourself, what are you really hungry for?”
The question stopped me in my tracks. I wasn’t hungry for food—I was hungry for connection, safety, and love. I was longing for rest and a deeper sense of purpose. That question became my mantra, the key to unlocking the layers of my relationship with food.
Instead of reaching for snacks to soothe myself, I began reaching inward. When I felt emotional hunger, I asked myself how I could nourish my soul. Sometimes it meant journaling or taking a walk. Other times, it meant practicing stillness or calling someone who could hold space for me. Each time, I chose to listen to myself with honesty and compassion.
Slowly, my relationship with food shifted. I began to see it not as a way to escape, but as a way to connect—with my body, my energy, and the world around me. I found joy in savoring a meal, in feeling gratitude for the energy it provided, and in honoring the sacred exchange that food represents.
This journey wasn’t just about food—it was about healing the relationship with myself. Food became a teacher, guiding me toward deeper truths about my needs, emotions, and quantum energy.
So I ask you now, as I once asked myself:
What are you really hungry for?
When you can answer that question with clarity and love, you’ll begin to unlock the transformation you’ve been seeking. It’s not just about food; it’s about finding alignment with your truest self. And that journey is worth every step.
Final Thoughts
As you deepen your relationship with food, ask yourself: Where else am I in intimacy or addiction? This holiday season, as we gather with loved ones, this awareness can extend beyond food to our relationships, work, and personal habits. When we choose intimacy, we’re fully present, exchanging energy in a way that fulfills us deeply.
Let this holiday season be a time of connection and self-compassion. One mindful bite at a time, we can turn our relationship with food into an act of healing and a doorway to self-love.